Mental Health Awareness Week; Why

In response to people who have been questioning my motives for what I have been up to recently...

For so long I had felt like I was at the bottom of a pit with no way out. Losing my wife of 9 years felt like the end of everything. Up to that point I had never seen a dead person let alone watch someone die in your arms.  It has taken four years to drag myself out of the pit I was in, constantly being dragged back by the PTSD I was suffering from, along with half a dozen other psychological issues I had been diagnosed with by my therapist on the way. 

“I got away for a little while, but then it came back much harder. “

- Damon Albarn

That’s how things were for those first few years after, up and down and all around. Bouncing off the walls feeling like a prisoner. I can sort of laugh about how ill I was then, but then it’s rather shocking as you don’t realise how bad you were until much longer after the fact. Then you realise how far you have come. You never get over it, you just learn to deal with it appropriately, and after all being upset about certain things is just part of being human. It’s what makes you normal. 

I say to people I’m better now. Guess that depends on your definition of better. 

For me being better comes from having a greater sense of perspective I think. Being mentally ill I think is when you lose all perspective. For me it is anyway. What is it they say? “Too close and you lose sight of the bigger picture.” 

For me perspective has come in the form of the plight of Syrians fleeing the civil war. Last year I had the privilege of meeting a family from Syria in Istanbul. Their story touched me deeply. Click on the link to read Muhammed’s Story. Obviously one is aware that their story is in no way unique after five years of war have ravaged the country, but I can honestly say I have never been moved so much by meeting people before in the course of my life. Here is a father with his child, just like me and my children they have lost their wife and mother, but they also lost other family members, Muhammed lost his legs and they have become refugees in a different country.  I couldn’t begin to comprehend the trauma they went through, I was staggered, I know how hard the loss of my wife was for me and my family. I could recognise the signs of PTSD in Muhammed and others I met. Yet here they were, welcoming me into their home and bending over backwards to keep me and my friend topped up with tea, coffee, food and cigarettes, imploring us to come back when we felt like we were over extending them.    

I cried for them in Istanbul airport whilst composing captions for the pictures I had taken, waiting to board my plane back to the UK, knowing I had sat in their apartment and promised to do anything in my power to help them. 

This is why I am setting up Muhammed’s Hope, in a way the idea I guess is that by doing this I am paying forward the kindness that was extended to me during my recovery process. People like Marvi Lacar through 1in20, and Daniella Zalcman through Echo/Sight have been instrumental in shining a guiding light on the path to recovery.  Leonie & Greg Marinovich  and Yasmin Al Tellawy for their help and advice in the initial planning stages of Muhammed’s Hope. 

Initially the focus is on helping Muhammed, but if we can raise enough money through fundraising then we have the scope to help others like him, of which there are unfortunately many. 

You know, for me if we are successful in helping Muhammed then the all of the pain and anguish that I have been through will have all been worth it, because I wouldn’t be here today doing what I am doing for him  if it wasn’t for all the things that had gone before. It’s all for a purpose. When I was growing up I used to read a lot of existentialism, that’s all about carving your own path in life, it is up to you which path you choose. What positives you can bring from the negatives. It’s a beautiful world out there and you won’t get to see it if you don’t take yourself out there. 

Shortly I will be following Yasmin Al Tellawy’s awe inspiring example and setting myself some physical fundraising challenges to raise money to help Muhammed and his family, no matter how hard they are they won’t come close to what that little boy has been through. 

 www.muhammedshope.com

Chasing The Sun with 1in20

Recently I have again been collaborating with 1in20 (www.oneintwenty.org). A website set up by American photographer Marvi Lacar. It's;

“More than an awareness campaign, more than healing through art, more than stigma-fighters, 1in20 is a living breathing community offering validation, support and a creative outlet for people coping with and surviving mental illness.”

 "Our mission is to close the gap between the vital but impersonal research conducted by academics and clinicians and how it really feels when you are suffering from depression or mental illness. We aim to provide a platform where you can share your stories, discover that you are not alone, and find a safe outlet to express everything you are experiencing, from despair, to joy, to fear, to hope, and in time, to recovery."

Along with my essay in which I talk about my battle with PTSD there are some powerful pieces by photographers such as Erin Trieb, Kerry Payne and mash-up masters Echo/Sight to name just a couple. Well worth a look even if you have never suffered from mental illness. 

Below is a link to my piece on the 1in20 website;

http://www.oneintwenty.org/jim-wood

Schizophrenia. Treatment in the UK like Capture and Release for a wild animal.

According to N.I.C.E (The National Institute for Clinical Excellence) since 2000 only 0.5% of the population of the UK suffer with schizophrenia (220,000 people.) That's roughly 1 in 45 people suffering with schizophrenia. Doesn't sound like much does it. Perhaps it's a good thing that this affliction is so sparsely spread out through the population. In the past decade I have been involved with three shizophrenic people and they have all been failed by their care plans. No doubt goverment funding cuts have had a dramatic effect on this.
   In November 2012 The Schizophrenia Commission said there were "shameful" standards of care on some acute mental health wards, which could make patients worse rather than better. The commission, established by the mental health charity Rethink Mental Illness, has called for a radical overhaul of the care system. The report suggests that too much money is being spent on secure care – the most expensive form of care – and more should be invested in prevention and community support.
   Professor Sir Robin Murray, chair of the commission, said:"The message that comes through loud and clear is that people are being badly let down by the system in every area of their lives.
   "We wouldn't accept this state of affairs for cancer, why should people with schizophrenia have to endure it?"
    Andrew McCulloch, chief executive at the Mental Health Foundation, said: "GPs and other health professionals must do more to offer routine health assessments to people with severe mental health problems and address identified needs."
    From personal experience I can say that in Herefordshire specifically, schizophrenic sufferers are drugged up and then let loose on the community. As they have a 'high rate of disability' they are awarded a fairly large sickness benefit, which allows them to have whatever they want. Some of this money is supposed to be for the payment of a carer. From what I have seen this money is only ever used by the patient to gamble, drink or take drugs. It would be easy perhaps to blame the patient for blowing all their money on vices. Wouldn't you take drink and drugs if you weren't in control of your mind?

Schizophrenia sufferer

     I have seen two of my friends who suffer with the big S end up getting arrested and locked up because their care plans are failing them. Something upseting will happen in their lives and then they will start to become more mentally unstable, causing them to act erratically, because most schizophrenics are fairly intelligent their are fairly apt at avoiding all of their medical appointments with the mental health team, hiding from them when they call at their residences, and pretending to those people around them that they are fine. One person told me the mental health team had told them they didn't need their medication anymore and had started to wean them off it. This is the reason that they appear a bit out of sorts. When in reality for two months he hadn't been going to get his medication and was quiet literally falling apart at the seams. He continued to break down untill he did something that ended up with him being arrested. Fortunately for this case he has now been released and has a care package which is much better than the one he had before. 
   Sadly another sufferer, albiet on a lesser level, who I thought was doing OK is now on bail and awaiting sentence for theft from a charity, his partner has left him, and as part of his bail conditions he is not allowed back in to the town so he is unable to see his baby girl. He is quiet literally heart broken, unsure of the outcome. Why did he turn to theft. Well he says that for a couple of weeks he "Hadn't been feeling quite right." as he put it. And none of his care team had picked up on it. I had noticed that he had been a bit low, but he had been going through some personal hardships. So I put it down to that. To make things worse he hasn't even got himself legal representation, true to his straight down the line attitude he believes that he "Did the crime so do the time." If he gets his way he will be tried without his illness being taken into account. Surely this isn't right is it? I know some people who think it is right. They are wrong.
   It seems to me that people with schizophrenia should be monitored more closely not just diagnosed, drugged up to the eyeballs and then released back into the community. It is like a wildlife capture, treat and release program. These are at the end of the day human beings not wild animals.